My close mate has been made redundancy recently. I was shocked and angry because he dedicated to his work and is a hard working person. He was told that he have done excellent job, and the redundancy had only been made because the company has financially lost money, and has to cut staff. What a marvellous excuse!

However, my mate told me that’s not the case, because the company sent a sick person to the site for accomplishing work due to short in staff. He told me that he has had some arguments about projects with his boss since last year, and he believed that his boss has used his power eliminating him who has different opinions by making him redundancy. What an evil boss my mate had been working for near three years! In my opinion, he should be very glad to leave that evil place!!

But he has still struggled to accept this reality. He told me that it's difficult time to find a job/suitable job. In particular, he has lost his confidence in finding another suitable job. I have tried my best to persade him that it's not his fault that he lost his job. He has fantastic experience and skills and he would find another job soon.

He has recently attended few job interviews, but he told the potential employers that he cannot do this and he cannot do that, as a result, he has lost all opportunities. Not because he cannot do this or that, because he is still in a statu of thinking what's wrong with his performance in his previous job, why been made redundancy: he has blamed him self for the redundancy.

Dear friends, I really worry about my mate. I have not had the similar experience, and for me things are easy to say. Could anyone have similar experience to open your heart to him?

With many thanks, Joel.

Joe, I am sorry for your friend. I hope him good luck on finding a job! At this difficult time, he may need to talk to someone,please pass my email address: emmab1986@gmail.com, and he is welcome to talk to me anytime. Also he can talk to me here.

Yes, it's hard to accept the "redundancy", particularly in this financial climate. However, we have to face this reality: hold our head high to move on.

He may find less help than expected, that’s NORMAL. I remember a very success person said: "when you are at the BOTTOM and desperately need help, you will be cast aside by people. When you are at the TOP, you will be given for everything: help, money... but really you don't need”. He has pointed out that we have to walk out the harsh situation ourself. Upset, lost confidence and other syndrome only make your situation worse.

Come on, he will find another job!

Been redundant may be a good thing, although it's bad. You gain from your lost, and learned from you mistake. Move on with the pain and the experiences, you'll be good, better and best.